I DON’T SEE NO DOG FOOD

Bill: APD Investigation Shuts Down 3 BBQ Restaurants For Meat Theft
Keef: Holy shit!
Bill: Yeah! “Operation Meat Locker.”
Keef: If they were that eager to get their hands on some high quality meat, they coulda just given me twenty dollars.
Keef: HA HAAAAAA!
Bill: yeah, but they’d need more than just a child’s bbq plate portion to keep Sam’s open.
Bill: OHHHHHHHHH!
Keef: OHHHHH SNAAAAAAP!
Keef: It seems weird that they’d wanna use HEB.
Keef: I’m sure there are meat-slingin’ wholesalers they could have stolen from.
Bill: Well, I’m thinking they knew somebody at HEB who was ripping the store off.
Keef: Ah yeah, that makes sense.
Bill: I don’t think they were sending in some dude who was sticking it down his pant legs like in “Street Trash.”
Bill: HEB Loss Prevention did a piss-poor job if that was how it worked.

(ten minutes later)

Bill: DUDE
Bill: THEY WERE JUST SHOVING IT DOWN THEIR PANTS
Bill: Restaurant Workers Charged With Buying Stolen Meat
Bill: I figured it was dudes on the loading dock or whatever– that’s who got busted at Target usually.
Keef: My favorite part is that the article uses the verb “shoving.”
Keef: SHOVING!
Keef: Very evocative.
Bill: Yeah. Especially when you think of it in terms of racks of ribs and whole chickens.

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