Times New Keeferton Keef shows no signs of lethality or psychosis

27May/110

ARTBACK MOUNTAIN

DJ Hamhock: I want to get a tattoo of you on my back.
DJ Hamhock: Right in the middle of it.
DJ Hamhock: Underneath your face, it will say "The Beard."
DJ Keef: YEAH!
DJ Keef: If you'd like, I can accompany you to the tattoo parlor of your choice and pose for the artist.  With or without a shirt.  Your decision.
DJ Hamhock: No. I want to use the photo from your facebook profile.
DJ Keef: Well, true artists say that there's no substitute for working from real life.
DJ Keef: But I respect your decision.

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26May/111

LESS YESSES! MORE NOS!

PREFACE:  The person herein referred to as "DJ Skoopz" is a person that until recently was a co-worker of mine, and has since left to work at a local chain of ice cream shoppes.  The chain at which she works is well-known for having old-school analog photobooths.

DJ Keef: MAKE ME SOME ICE CREAM!
DJ Skoopz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
DJ Keef: Is that your answer because you are not at work, DJ Skoopz? I think if you were at work and if I were a customer your answer would be entirely different.
DJ Keef: Does your location have a functional photobooth?
DJ Skoopz: Not yet. We haven't really opened yet. But when we do, you shall be informed.
DJ Keef: Are y'all planning to have a functional photobooth? The photobooths are one of the main reasons I go to that chain of stores.
DJ Skoopz: Yeesssssss.
DJ Keef: Last month I went to SIX DIFFERENT LOCATIONS trying to find a functional photobooth. Only the South Lamar location had one that worked. The one at Westgate ate my money and didn't spit out any photos. All the rest just had signs saying they were resting.
DJ Skoopz: I'll ask about this.
DJ Keef: Well. You shouldn't do anything that might get you in hot water.
DJ Keef: Let's leave that for the scoops!
DJ Keef: HA HA HA HA HA
DJ Keef: HA
DJ Keef: HA
System Message: DJ Skoopz has gone offline.

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9May/116

PHOTOBOOTH ART #48

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5May/110

PERFORMING THE SAME COIN TRICK

DJ Unique: What is a word for being made enthusiastic about something?
DJ Unique:
like motivated, but not
DJ Keef:
Like when you have been "sold" on something?
DJ Unique:
No.
DJ Keef:
What's the context?
DJ Unique:
"I also wanted to thank you for taking the time to show us around. I was very impressed and ... by your program."
DJ Keef: Excited?
DJ Unique: Perhaps.
DJ Keef: Enthralled?
DJ Unique: Nah.
DJ Keef: Embonered?
DJ Unique: Yes.
DJ Unique: "Dear Rebecca, I was embonered by your youth center and would like to help you realize your new curriculum."
DJ Keef: You're welcome.
DJ Unique: Thank you. I think that shows not only professionalism, but grace.

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4May/110

MIGHT AS WELL SPLURGE! SPLURGE, SPLURGE, SPLURGE!

DJ Stereo: http://www.amazon.com/JBL-10-Two-Way-Bookshelf-Speakers/dp/B000O8SKZA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1304527657&sr=1-2
DJ Stereo: No comments? I am aghast.
DJ Keef: Oh, did you not already order them?
DJ Stereo: Don't be silly, Keith, of course I ordered them.
DJ Keef: Good man, good man.
DJ Stereo: I still have room in my home that must be filled with equipment!
DJ Keef: Hm.  You know what you should do instead?
DJ Keef: Have you ever seen or read anything about Temple Grandin?
DJ Stereo: not that I recall, no
DJ Keef: Okay, well, she's a high-level autistic.  She was played by Claire Danes in some TV thing recently.  Anyway, the point is that she invented a hug machine: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hug_machine
DJ Keef: You should make one.
DJ Keef: Except instead of blankets, yours will be made out of stereo components.  So every day, you can climb into it and feel as though you are being slowly crushed by stereo parts and speakers.  Which is what you clearly desire.
DJ Stereo: That's already happening, though.
DJ Keef: Clearly, it's not.  Or at least, not fast enough for you.
DJ Keef: You could just line one of your closets with all this shit and then like wedge yourself into it at night to sleep.
DJ Keef: "Grandin's device did not meet with unmitigated approval at first, as psychologists at her high school sought to confiscate her prototype hug machine."
DJ Stereo: My closet is also lined with stereo shit, other components not currently in use.  But once this pair of bookshelf speakers arrives, I'll have enough to do themed rooms.
DJ Stereo: a JBL room, an Infinity room, and a Polk audio room.
DJ Stereo: I'm gonna have to do some funky wiring though, once they get here, since the amp in the bedroom only drives one speaker pair.
DJ Stereo: I'll have to do a "parallel-series" wiring to keep the impedance at 8 ohms.
DJ Keef: Then maybe later you can masturbate on a circuitboard.
DJ Keef: While pressing your face into a first pressing vinyl record of "Blue Monday."
DJ Stereo: Why you gotta hate, man
DJ Keef: Hate?  Oh no.  This is LOVE.

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