Words of Wisdom

oppsie1: i assure you that if you are a procrastinator now in school, you will always be one even after you graduate.
KeefKeefKeefKeef: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo
oppsie1: yes
oppsie1: resign yourself now
oppsie1: old habits do not die hard or soft. they live FOREVER.
KeefKeefKeefKeef: That was my fear.
oppsie1: but if you’re lucky you can dupe people into thinking they’re just part of your “character”
oppsie1: and they add “color”
KeefKeefKeefKeef: heh. Okay.
KeefKeefKeefKeef: I’ll put it on my business cards. “KEEF KEEFERSON, procrastinator.”
oppsie1:ooh look at me, i am the brilliant writer who cannot remember to replace the toilet paper because i am so brilliant!

Apparently, Best Buy’s Target Audience is Assholes.

I worked for nine hours today in the comic shop. Nine hours. It was fun, mostly, but lifting up comic box after comic box filled with heavy-ass, slick-paper Spawn comics is hard on my back.

Today Don and Andrew and I were working in the basement, and Don was bringing down some more toilet paper. I was joking about how it was one-ply and painful on the ass, and Andrew said that in lieu of real toilet paper, we could use about half of the store’s inventory, meaning that there are a lot of comics whose sole use would be to wipe one’s ass with.

“No, that wouldn’t work,” said Don, “Because most of the ones I want to wipe my ass with are printed on that slick glossy paper. That would be useless as ass-wipe.”

He thought about it for a minute and then said, “Cyber-Force to the rescue!”

It made me laugh really hard.

Tonight I was watching television and napping and we saw this stupid-ass commercial for Best Buy. It’s one of those goddamn ones where we see some dumb-ass guy in a situation where it is inappropriate for him to be fucking with stuff, and he’s fucking with it, and then you see him fucking with stuff at Best Buy and having a grand old time. Then he and his lame-o friend are suddenly walking away with shitloads of merchandise sacks with Best Buy in the background and now they have girlfriends.

I couldn’t help that within this one commercial, the dumb-ass consumer is wearing a visor that is upside-down and backwards. I pointed this out to everyone.

Barb said “Apparently, Best Buy’s target audience is Assholes.”

It’s totally true.

I’m going to go pass out now.