Apparently, Best Buy’s Target Audience is Assholes.

I worked for nine hours today in the comic shop. Nine hours. It was fun, mostly, but lifting up comic box after comic box filled with heavy-ass, slick-paper Spawn comics is hard on my back.

Today Don and Andrew and I were working in the basement, and Don was bringing down some more toilet paper. I was joking about how it was one-ply and painful on the ass, and Andrew said that in lieu of real toilet paper, we could use about half of the store’s inventory, meaning that there are a lot of comics whose sole use would be to wipe one’s ass with.

“No, that wouldn’t work,” said Don, “Because most of the ones I want to wipe my ass with are printed on that slick glossy paper. That would be useless as ass-wipe.”

He thought about it for a minute and then said, “Cyber-Force to the rescue!”

It made me laugh really hard.

Tonight I was watching television and napping and we saw this stupid-ass commercial for Best Buy. It’s one of those goddamn ones where we see some dumb-ass guy in a situation where it is inappropriate for him to be fucking with stuff, and he’s fucking with it, and then you see him fucking with stuff at Best Buy and having a grand old time. Then he and his lame-o friend are suddenly walking away with shitloads of merchandise sacks with Best Buy in the background and now they have girlfriends.

I couldn’t help that within this one commercial, the dumb-ass consumer is wearing a visor that is upside-down and backwards. I pointed this out to everyone.

Barb said “Apparently, Best Buy’s target audience is Assholes.”

It’s totally true.

I’m going to go pass out now.

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