So I think one of the reasons that I don’t have many ideas for writing is that I tend to consider my conversations with other people as sort of “off-limits.” Like, I wouldn’t write a story about how my pal was worried about his girlfriend being pregnant, because he told me that in confidence.
But that’s a load of crap.
I should write about anything that interests me. If someone tells me a secret, that’s fodder for my fiction writing. Anything that anyone talks to me about is fair game. HAH! I can finally tell y’all about the time that Johnny Crotchpump told me he was gay for his dad! And the story about Ford Dropacip de-horning cows and getting a boner! And about how Frankie Stankfoot killed his little sister and stashed her body under his porch, and then she started to stink and he had to throw her in the septic tank! IT’S ALL COMING OUT, PEOPLE!
Consider yourselves warned.
Okay. I was talking to my friend Erin today about the movie Blood Simple, which I watched last week and thought was a steaming pile of dung.
oppsie1 : i saw it on big screen
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Man.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : You’re old.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Oldy.
oppsie1 : they rereleased it, feeb
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Heh. Suuure they did, oldy.
oppsie1 : i actually didn’t get carded in maine last night for beer with my lobster, i was quite surprised.
oppsie1 : maybe i’m just getting old. sigh. oldy.
oppsie1 : moldy oldy.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : How old are you, old fellah?
oppsie1 : 22
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Well, shit. That’s how old I am.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : When you turn 23?
oppsie1 : end of november.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Or are you bullshitting me?
oppsie1 : i’m not bullshitting you.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : It would appear that the tables have turned.
KeefKeefKeefKeef : I am suddenly the oldy.
oppsie1 : i hope you’re older than me just so you can feel like an OLD FUCKING FART
oppsie1 : OLDY
oppsie1 : OLDY
oppsie1 : KEEF IS AN OLDY
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Oh, shit, you’re making me laugh out loud in the LIBRARY, dude.
oppsie1 : KEEF WASN’T TOILET TRAINED IN TIME FOR KINDERGARTEN
oppsie1 : HE HAD TO RED SHIRT HIS FRESHMAN YEAR OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
KeefKeefKeefKeef : ha ha ha! Ohhh god, who told you?
KeefKeefKeefKeef : What’s “red shirting?”
oppsie1 : red shirting is when you sit out a year of eligibility for injury
KeefKeefKeefKeef : Sounds like an archaic term that I wouldn’t know, oldy.
On a totally unrelated(and not-secret) note, here’s some commentary from my pal Bill about a couple friends of ours.
You’re his new hero/big brother figure. My advice is fuck with him all you can.
Tony: Hey Darrin! Check out my new shirt!
Darrin: Wow, that looks really gay.
(a few hours later, Darrin is wearing the same shirt.)
Tony: Wait a second! I thought you said that looks gay!
Darrin: oh it did, but now it’s hip.
(a few hours later, Tony is wearing the shirt again.)
Darrin: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU BIG HOMO?!?