So, an internet forum that I frequent recently had a post asking for recommendations for “the best whiskey bar in Manhattan.”

Welp. I couldn’t resist:

If you’re looking for the best whiskey bar in Manhattan, look no further than The Horny Pteranodon. Located in the storage room of a 7-11 on 53rd and 3rd, this place has everything: Dinosaur RealDolls, frozen coproliths instead of ice cubes, Pachydermabrasion– that’s that thing of where a little person wearing an elephant skin runs real fast past your bare legs– and so much more. To get in, just look for the doorman dressed like Dr. Alan Grant, and hand him a plastic miniature triceratops.

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