JESUS SAVES, GRETSKY SCORES

I just witnessed the most horriffic thing in the entire world.

I was in need of groceries and some new socks, so I went to the only place in town that you can get groceries and socks at, at 11 O’clock at night- Wal-Mart.

They had a large group of elementary school aged children stocking shelves there.

“Wait a second, Bill!” you’re thinking to yourself. “Did you say 11 O’clock?”

I did.

Everyone knows that Wal-Mart has any army of children working for them overseas. That’s common knowledge. Who else makes your Kathy Ireland padded bras and Olsen Twins clothes? But to see this flagrant disregard of child labor laws in my hometown just shocks me.

I kept trying to find out what those kids were doing there, but all the employees stone walled me. I almost asked the on duty cop what the deal was, but he didn’t look friendly and I figured he was probably on their pay roll.

The other thought occurred to me, that maybe I was witnessing company babysitting.

I’m not sure what I just witnessed. And I’m scared that Wal-Mart may have me killed for what I saw tonight. If anything weird happens, friends. Blow up Wal-Mart.

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