Category: Bill’s Diaryland

man. my new layout is HOT, if I do say so myself.
i’m not sure who the guy who made it is, but props to him, I must say.

it’s sunday. lazy sunday.

and that’s about it.

I\’ma adding trhis for mikey.
U;mg f drunk right bwow.

verty drunk.

drizzzuznk.

dreunkl;d,.;\’

yeha.

instead your legs should be standing up
instead of folding your hands you should be giving them out

instead of turning your back you should be showing your face

why do you walk away

hot water music, facing and backing

I got the new ink done yesterday and that went really well. I’m really happy with how it came out.

now, granted I’ve only had two tattoos, but this is something I’ve learned:

tequilla, jagermeister, and beer gets rid of the new tattoo feel a whole hell of a lot quicker than tylenol. so I recommend, the alcohol approach to just about everyone.

I had fun last night. I was good to see mike, barb, keef, and Harold. I really should be over there more. I think that’s my new year’s resolution. hang out with all my pals a lot more. yeah.

tonight should be fun too. it’s been a few months since i last saw meth and goats. i’ll be definently looking forward to that show.

and i think that about wraps it all up for now.

Tonight’s Forecast:

Drunk as a poet on payday.

Word.

time is on my side-

yes it is.

Last night was a lot of fun. It found me over at the Potata House drinking with Dano, Ross, Jess, and assorted others. Fun times. I like sitting around and shooting the shit with my friends. It’s fun. It was a lot more laid back than usual and I like that.

I ended up back home at 3:00. Jess and I left Potata looking for a party, people to yell at on the streets, etc. If you were by chance someone I yelled at, I apologize. I was very drunk.

I just realized in the shower this morning that I stole several gas caps off cars in a garage. That was a bad idea. I think I won’t do that ever again. Just for the record they were nicer cars than any of my friends or people I know own, so don’t get too peeved at me for it. One of them was a convertible. It was cherry red.

I have five beers in my fridge. I had six but one kept falling out and I dropped it in a lot at one of the parties we tried to invade. It shot beer everywhere. I lost that little soldier.

Oh yeah. The free keg at the party across the street was a bonus too. Man. Last night was fun. If this seems random and out of order of the events, I assure you it makes perfect sense if you experienced last night.

I fucking love college.

Right this minute I want you to go to here and download the song “black out curtain”. It rules.
As does this album. Now It’s Overhead is where it’s at, kids.

It’s now friday morning and I am making a mix tape for the ride home tonight. It’s been a pretty strange couple of days and now would be a good time to write about them.

Today we all gave David his last good bye. I’m gonna miss that kid. It’s amazing how you can meet a person and in a short time know they are far away. You probably won’t see this for awhile, but when you do remember to stay in touch, dude. You’re a good guy. Thanks for coming to the power lunch at Panchero’s.

Wednesday was my last final. So it’s been pretty much dead time around here for me. I worked today, did laundry, packed up for the trip home, and cleaned this fucker of a room up quite a bit too. I got shit done today. Good for me.

Going home is gonna be weird. I don’t know how I feel about it yet. Atleast I’ll have friends around and be working most of the time.

The Pogues rule. Just thought I would mention that.

Man. Going home again. I don’t know who said it, but I keep finding myself agreeing with that quote of “you can never go home again”. Whenever I do, it’s ok for a few days, but then I miss being free. I guess that’s the price I gotta pay for now. Oh well.

It’s late, I’m being over analytical and moody. Don’t know why.

Watched some TV tonight. That was weird. Space Ghost Coast to Coast and the rest of the shows on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim made my head hurt. I don’t know why. I don’t have a tv in my dorm room, so I go without seeing tv for weeks at a time sometimes. It’s kind of killed my patience for tv in general. I don’t really like sitting down to watch new shows, or just flip through channels. I haven’t seen an episode of the Simpsons since August, and I wasn’t even watching tv too much while I was home this summer. Maybe I’m missing something. I dunno. I like not watching it. The downside is that I never know what the hell is going on. Oh well.

Sleepy. Now the Piebald part of the mix tape is taping. Hey! You’re part of it.

This place has broken my American Heart.

Over and out kids. Have some happy holidays. Maybe I’ll update or something. Or not. I dunno. There is work to be done, to be done. There’s a war to be one, to be one. Come you son of a son of a gun, and join up.

Word.

12.18.2001

To Whom May Concern:

Professor Brooks Landon
English Department Head

Greetings! My name is Bill Latham and I am an English student here at the University of Iowa. I recently finished taking a course taught by one William Kupersmith, a man that to quote the vernacular is “out of his fucking mind”. I don’t know why I waited so long to write this, but I’m doing it mainly out of concern for other students who may become victims of this man’s teaching. I am addressing this to you as you are head of the English Department. I also had your Modern Fiction class during the 2001 Spring Session, and respect your teaching.

This course has been a nightmare since day one. Each class was filled with inane comments, highly opinionated coverage of the works we covered (sometimes even going beyond historical accuracy), and very limited outside help. Professor Kupersmith is not always available for office hours and offers very little help understanding his grading process. For example, I turned in a paper wherein I stated a personal opinion and said that I “wasn’t sure I believed in the personal existence of a deity”. The comment written in the margin of that paper asked “what are you trying to say?” I think I was pretty clear on that. Looking over the tests of peers I would notice comments such as “sketchy”, and also notice that whatever was made sketchy was not obvious to any of us. In fact, simply writing the comment “sketchy” with no explanation is in itself “sketchy”.

I kept a list of inane comments heard through out this course. I have well over 50 of them. I thought I would share the ten “best”. If you do not wish to claw your eyes out after reading these, I do not know what to tell you.

10) “[The people of the future] will have a machine that downloads directly into their minds. That is if they HAVE minds!” -9.17.01

09) One thing you’re not supposed to do in poetry is talk about characters like they are real people. But they are real people… well, at least for me.” -9.17.01

08) “[Modern Audiences] would say that a school bus full of children going off a cliff is a tragedy, which it isn’t.” -9.26.01

07) “I’m getting a little tired of people flying on the water and disobeying the laws of gravity.” -9.28.01

06) “The Gospel of Mark is like ordering a club sandwich if the Gospel of Mark is Turkey and the Gospel of Luke is Chicken.” -11.26.01

05) “I would certainly send a fury after that Osama Bin Laden character.” -Tying current events into Greek literature 10.3.01

04) “By the time we get to the Gospel of John we see that he [Jesus] has a sort of radar.”-11.28.01

03) “The choice of mountain goats is good, and I wonder how much experience our author had with them.” -11.19.01

02) “All the Water In the world is not going to wash off the blood of your mother.” -10.5.01

01)”I had a dream the other night where I was talking to a person who had already died. This disturbed me, but I won’t bore you with the details.” -9.14.01

I have others as well. Words barely describe how painful this class was to go to 3 days a week just for the attendance grade. I can assure you completely that this class will be the basis of some sort of short story in the new future. I cannot imagine how this man is still a teacher. Actually, I can. And I curse tenure’s name much like one would wave his fists in the air and curse a deity of choice.

Thank you for your time. I do not know if this letter will actually end up doing anything, but I thought you should know what is going on in your department. I will be strongly recommending that people do not take any classes that are taught by this man. It was not worth my time and money and sure as hell is not worth anyone else’s. Thank you again.

Respectfully,

Bill Latham
Iowa City, IA

He says something that I don’t quite understand, and says it again when I don’t respond.

“BITE THE CURB.”

I look up at his face as he repeats himself, this time much louder. I make a sudden move to get up and he kicks me hard in the side and I wonder why no one is doing anything to stop this.

“DO IT!”

I move forward on my hands and knees and crawl forward, uncertain of his intent. The curb is smeared with pink frosting from the cake, and I taste the comforting sweetness as my teeth settle against the cement.

He lifts one foot, raising it behind my head. Right now, Carol is walking through the front door. She looks around the crepe paper and balloons, and for a moment, waits for me to leap out and yell suprise.

-Pink Frosting, Adrian Tomine

I hate you.

No, it’s not because of something you did to me personally. It’s deeper than that.

I hate you for breathing.

I hate you for taking up my air.

I hate you for hassling me.

I hate you for watching “Friends”.

I hate you being a walking billboard for some fashion magazine.

I hate you for buying Oprah’s Book of the Month.

I hate you for the flag sticker in your front room window.

I hate you for your devotion to that damned Bible.

I hate you for Minute Rice.

I hate you for Shake and Bake.

I hate you for “Seventh Heaven”.

I hate you for the Victoria Secret Catalogue.

I hate you for fast food.

I hate you for going to the mall.

I hate you for driving everywhere in a hurry ignoring the world around you.

I hate you for pledging allegiance to a piece of cloth instead of your fellow humans.

I hate you.

I really fucking hate you.

Yes, I do.