October 2001 Missing Entries

2001-10-10 – Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali… in hell
2001-10-16 – Sign my guestbook you bastard
2001-10-20 – I’m a lazy son of a bitch
2001-10-21 – Murder City Devils My Friends
2001-10-22 – Creative Writing Thing I wrote… it’s screwed up
2001-10-23 – BAH
2001-10-23 – I guess I always come in last
2001-10-30 – Ergh, um. Stuff.

Egads! Going home for a couple days

Ahhhh. It’s friday. Only it’s early friday morning and I cannot sleep. Tommorow I have one class I have to go to and one class only. Then I have a couple hours to kill before I go home for the weekend. Fun times ahead.

This kid I know is playing Riff Raff in a production of Rocky Horror and me and some friends are going to see it Saturday Night. I have not been home since I got here this year. Should be interesting. In fact, it was a few days ago that was around the time I left in August. Wow.

As excited as I am to go home, I find I don’t always enjoy it a lot. Home is a place where my freedom is a lot more limited and my time is a lot more structured. Not that having a scheadule is a bad thing, and not that one is even enforced. It’s hard to stay up later though when everyone is in bed around 10 or 11 though. And it’s hard to sleep in when people are waking up at 6 or 7.

My parents are nice people. They raised me well, let me have freedom, and didn’t give me a lot of grief about anything. Knowing all this I hate to criticize them, but the thing I dread, nay LOATHE, about going home is that time on Saturday when my mom asks if I’d like to go to church with them on sunday morning. My mom is very good about making people feel guilty by saying nothing. Everytime I say something like “well, we’re leaving early” or “I’d kind of like to sleep in” I can see how much it hurts her. At the same time, I fear her church. They have 6 services on sundays and over 1000 people at each service. The whole service looks like something that a televangelist would throw together. I hate the place.

Along time ago it seems something about my relationship with religion lost any sort of meaning. It seems like a long time ago, but in reality it was only a couple years ago. I was always taught that people feel a connection with God or something. I dunno. I’ve never felt like that. I’ve never felt like there was really anything to look forward to after death. The more and more that I hear stories out of the Bible or whatever other relgious text is shown my way, the less and less I can believe what I’m reading. I know some people feel very strongly about relgion and spirituality and what not. I believe in spirituality. I believe in feeling a connection with people. I believe that certain things can bring you peace. I know when I sit down and draw, or write, or play my guitar I feel at peace with myself. I don’t feel that sort of thing in a church. I feel scared. I feel out of place. I feel like I don’t belong there. And I’m rambling because I don’t what else to do right now and I might as well get this out of my system before I go home tommorow.

At the sametime, I hate telling people I’m an aethiest. Functionally, I guess I am. I really hate the stigma that comes with it though. People think you’re angry about everything when you say “I’m an aethiest.” Basically, I don’t believe in God as presented to me. I don’t feel a connection to a higher power of any sort. I don’t desire too. If that’s my mistake, so be it. But I don’t think it’s a mistake.

Man, am I ever rambling. I think I’m gonna kill this now before I babble too much more. But I think my trip home will be fine. Atleast I hope so. I’ll update sunday and give a whole overview of the trip and all.

Oh yeah. If your read all of that, you should take the time to sign my guestbook. Please?

I AM A SHUT IN.

I didn’t do a damn thing today. Well, besides sleep a lot. And be on the internet a lot. And play guitar and listen to records.

I did not once go outside today.

I’d go crazy if I wasn’t so fucking tired.

“Say what you will about the tenants of national socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”

So I’m updating early. I’ll probably add on later.

I got my union suit today. It’s a fine garmet. Perhaps it will be making it’s debut at a party near you soon.

Or not.

[BROKEN IMAGE]

That’s what it looks like. Maybe I’ll get a picture of me wearing it in here soon.

All for now again. I guess. Oh yeah, Wednesday gets a 7 for excitement. Union Suit in the mail, dinner with a friend, and now listening to the Hotsnakes.

I dunno. Stuff.

“I wish you could have been a fly on the wall, when I was 12 years old. Cryin’ over my homework. I would have slit my wrists if it wasn’t for Rock and Roll.” -Murder City Devils

“Everytime you justify another good in you dies.” -Converge

Yesterday’s excitement level: 4

Not very high again, but I got to sleep in class so that was kind of cool.

Things I need to do:

-Take back my empty cans and bottles (believe me, I have enough in here right now. I should make a pretty penny when I take them all in)

-Write my paper for Biblical and Classical lit. I have to take a story and turn it into a Greek Drama. My story is the Amy Fischer Story (I figured, what the hell). Sounded like a good time. Meh. I’ll do it tommorow.

-Clean my fucking room…again.

-Go stock up a few grab and go meals.

-Don’t believe his lies. He is the one. Kill him.

Murder City Devils, 3 days and counting. WOO-HOO!

I’m going home next weekend to see this kid I know in a theatre production of Rocky Horror. He is playing Riff Raff. I’ve been told his final costume is a thong and saran wrap. Should be interesting to say the least.

Still waiting on the new Fugazi album. Still pumped as ever for it.

And that’s it for now.

“Do you know what happens if you do another turn in the joint?” “I’ll fuck your father in the shower and have a snack?! Are you gonna charge me, dickhead, or what?”

Saturday. What a day. Drinking coffee. Updating this thing.

Last night was fun. Keef and I went and played Raquetball at the fieldhouse. I’ve never played before so it took some getting used too, but it was fun.

Then I went to his radio show with him. You probably weren’t listening in, but if you were I was the one who suggested you slit your wrists. Tee hee. Tee hee.

Let’s see. Where should I start.

I’m listening to the new Fugazi album right now. It’s supposed to come out ’til monday and I’ll be buying a proper copy as soon as I can, but for now this awesome downloaded version works for me.

It’s incredible. I love Fugazi. They get better and better and better with every album. Now they have 2 drummers. Amazing I tells ya, amazing.

Tonight is too include more raquetball and who knows what else.

1 week ’til Murder City Devils hit this town. I can hardly wait. I love that band alot. Too bad they’re breaking up after this tour.

I found out the other night that some friends of mine from Omaha and Lincoln will be playing up here November 24th. My friends Ian and Joe are in this band called Tetsuo and they’re bringing along one of my favorite bands from Lincoln, NE: Rocket FM. I’m pretty pumped.

Also, Faultlines will be playing in Omaha on December 1st with Piebald and the Lawrence Arms. That’s 2 neat shows within a week of each other. Goodtimes. Goodtimes.

Hmmmmm, what else?

Union Suit still coming in the mail.

Pay Day a week away.

1 easy assignment for Creative Writing, still not done. I’ll do it tommorow…

I need to take my empty cans back. I have too many. Entirely too many. Damn.

Oh yeah.

Do me a favor.

Get a postcard.

Write a haiku on it.

Do not sign your name, leave the card anonymous.

Send to:

The Haiku Postcard Foundation
PO Box 10072
Iowa City, IA 52244

I am not making this up.

That is all.

Have a nice day.

More shit. Read it up.

Today was Thursday.

It was busy.

I worked.

Now I am not at work.

I didn’t do very much today.

I’m only adding this entry because I can. Hahahahahahahaha.

I like having power over something.

Hilights from today:

Teaching my boss’s 3 year old son how to vaccuum (ha ha ha ha. Now all I have to teach him how to do is work the register, make change, and close up)

Spending only .65 on a bottle of pop.

Teaching myself Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “fortunate son” on the guitar. By ear.

And that’s about it.