Category Archives: Lies I Have Told

THE OTIOTICS OF THE ODORIFIC HONORIFIC

Man, what a strange weekend. I went to a University of Iowa alumni meeting at a local bar, because the beer was free, and I know a few UI grads in town. I figured it’d be a pretty good time … Continue reading

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AND THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS YOUNG

When one of my co-workers– Kory, my most skilled foosball opponent– was diagnosed with testicle cancer, he was crushed. In the days leading up to his nut-removal surgery, he moped around the office, sipping Earl Grey in a loud and … Continue reading

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IT’S BANGED UP AND BRUISED AND IT’S ALL GONE SO RUSTY

The best class I ever took in college was a four-credit-hour lab in the political science department entitled “The Perceived Safety of Travel: Building the Perfect Car Bomb.” We covered the history, science, and technology of car bombs, from the … Continue reading

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BRAND-NEW LIES PART ONE

In the course of my time-traveling research into classical sculpture, I discovered that the Venus De Milo originally had flailing leather tentacles instead of carved marble arms.  An intricate mechanism housed in her torso made the leather tentacles whip about … Continue reading

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