Tonight I’m going to get rocked like a hurricane and drunk like a poet on payday.
And it is payday.
"I'll Probably Die Here" and Other Midwestern Stories
Tonight I’m going to get rocked like a hurricane and drunk like a poet on payday.
And it is payday.
Life would be so much easier if I could just get this monkey off my back.
His name is Chim-Chim.
I stole him from an organ grinder.
So David and I were sitting around last night with our friends Stewart and Travis.
We were talking about how we were going to take the dog that we’ve been looking after to the Humane Society today, because she keeps pissing and shitting on everything and we don’t have time to train her.
Here is a transcription of the Conversation.
Me: (talking to the dog)That’s right little girl, you’re going to heaven.
Stew: You can’t take her in!
David: Well, we need to.
Stew: BUT SHE COULD LIVE FOR ANOTHER 8 OR 9 YEARS.
Me: Now, Stew that’s just not up to us to decide.
That’s when the room went off and nothing returned to normal for another ten minutes.
Today we took her in. We took her to the Nebraska Humane Society, so atleast she won’t get the ax there. Hopefully she can find a loving, patient owner who won’t mind cleaning up piss and shit 4 times a day.
The Southern Santa
-1 8 oz glass
-fill the glass w/ ice
-1 shot southern comfort
-fill the rest with eggnog
-mix together
Spread the word, fuckers.