SLEEPING ON YOUR BELLY I SPOON MY EYES

I help complete idiots get their e-mail and get connected to the internet for a living. I do technical support for earthlink.

Some days leave me wondering when I’m going to get an ulcer and die with a head set on staring into the monitor of a computer. Most days, I just end up killing time on Fark or Ebay.

Yesterday I talked to people who made my head hurt and made me laugh hysterically.

Take this for example:

A middle aged woman calls up and says “I can’t get any server.”

I thought that sounded absolutely dirty. I got a good snigger out of it, even though I didn’t have a clue what the hell she meant by that. She ended up just needing a password, so I never figured out what she wanted.

But say that to yourself right now.

“I can’t get any server.”

Well, neither can I.

Next up was a man who’s modem just wasn’t working for anything. It was just gone. Finally, he admited defeat and knew he’d have to go drop a whole ten bucks on a new modem.

“I guess I’m AOL,” he said. “SHIT OUTTA LUCK.”

And I thought about that one too. I mean, sure the acronym doesn’t make much sense at first glance, but when you think about it, doesn’t it?

I thought so.

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